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Girl Code Schmirl Code

3 Comments January 29, 2014

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a275f624b302af2bd05a6c4a1dddf2ffTonight I was talking to hubby and well, the urge came on, I couldn’t keep it in any longer, it was so strong, I had to do it.  You know what I am talking about, mid sentence and there it was………

FFFFFFAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

He gave me that one eyebrow raised look and shook his head and said, “You know, I read somewhere that when a wife farts in front of the husband and takes a dump with the door wide open, the magic is gone”

I politely reminded him of the days when we were dating and I would excuse myself.  He would ask again and again if I was ok until I finally admitted that I needed to pass gas and he told me to just do it, he didn’t care.

This is when he informed that that I need to watch Girl Code (on MTV) and I informed him that he needs to STOP watching Girl Code LOL!!

He says:

Girl Code:Hold it in!
Guy Code:Let er RIP Loud and Proud!

So since he has decided to tell me that I need to LIVE by girl code, here are some “Guy Codes” I want him to live by:

  • Most women practically BEG their husbands to put the toilet seat down, but hunny, I want you to put that damn seat up or please for all that is holy, please WIPE IT DOWN!
  • When I ask you to pick up Midol, use your brain….PICK UP CHOCOLATE TOO!
  • Want to know what I find VERY sexy?  Putting your dishes in the sink instead of your cave!!
  • Want to know what is even sexier?  Rinsing said dishes and putting them on the counter or in the dishwasher.
  • Speaking of man cave, COME OUT EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE!!  Join the living.  We won’t bite, I promise!  Well, maybe a little!
  • Don’t get mad when I remind you to do something that you promised to do.  You say you know and you will, BUT when I don’t remind you, you forget.  Therefore I WILL ALWAYS remind you and you just need to learn to deal with it.
  • On the other hand, if I remind you of something and you tell me that I DIDN’T ask you about it in the first place, just remember that half of what I say to you goes in one ear and out the other with no data actually being received.  So just live under the assumption that I DID in fact ask you.
  • If you want me to stop talking, then how about this notion…instead of a monologue from me, lets have a dialogue.  If you are unsure what a dialogue is, it’s when TWO people talk back and forth.  Such a novel concept right?
  • Please note that the above is not a guarantee that I will stop talking, simply a plea to get you to communicate more than “what’s for dinner?”
  • SPEAKING of dinner……If I am having a BAD day, the kids have driven me Hell and back, I am feeling sick or am in pain……just know that the question “what’s for dinner?” may get you hurt, repeatedly, in parts of your body that you cherish.  Just a friendly warning!

Okay it must be said that all in all my husband is a pretty great guy, I mean he DOES still love me after all these years and after countless farts.  Not to mention he tells me I am beautiful everyday, scratches my back just because with EVERY hug, kisses me goodnight EVERY night and tells me he loves me several times a day.  He is a great man even if he DOES forget the chocolate once a month!

What annoying habits of your significant other drives you absolutely BATTY!?!?

 

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Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: Fart, Flatulence, Great Guy, Hell, Man cave, Midol, MTV, Once (film), Recreation, Shopping, Toilet seat

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mary says

    January 29, 2014 at 6:41 am

    See, now when I burp or fart my husband attacks me claiming “MATING CALL” LOL. He’s decided to make the best of a natural occurance 😛

    Reply
  2. Jaime says

    January 31, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    Oh my god… I laughed so hard. Girl Code is pretty dang funny but really, guys? DEAL WITH IT! Us girls can be as raunchy as men any day.

    My ex-husband used to think it was funny when I farted. After awhile, apparently, it started getting on his nerves and thought I was disgusting. Whatever… sissyboy.

    Reply
  3. Lauren @ infinite.nu says

    February 15, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    LOL These are absolutely wonderful! #2 is my favorite, because seriously, CHOCOLATE. I don’t care of it’s Hersey’s or cake or in an IV, but don’t come back without it!

    Reply

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