Girl Code Schmirl Code

Tonight I was talking to hubby and well, the urge came on, I couldn’t keep it in any longer, it was so strong, I had to do it.  You know what I am talking about, mid sentence and there it was………

FFFFFFAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

He gave me that one eyebrow raised look and shook his head and said, “You know, I read somewhere that when a wife farts in front of the husband and takes a dump with the door wide open, the magic is gone”

I politely reminded him of the days when we were dating and I would excuse myself.  He would ask again and again if I was ok until I finally admitted that I needed to pass gas and he told me to just do it, he didn’t care.

This is when he informed that that I need to watch Girl Code (on MTV) and I informed him that he needs to STOP watching Girl Code LOL!!

He says:

Girl Code:Hold it in!
Guy Code:Let er RIP Loud and Proud!

So since he has decided to tell me that I need to LIVE by girl code, here are some “Guy Codes” I want him to live by:

• Most women practically BEG their husbands to put the toilet seat down, but hunny, I want you to put that damn seat up or please for all that is holy, please WIPE IT DOWN!
• When I ask you to pick up Midol, use your brain….PICK UP CHOCOLATE TOO!
• Want to know what I find VERY sexy?  Putting your dishes in the sink instead of your cave!!
• Want to know what is even sexier?  Rinsing said dishes and putting them on the counter or in the dishwasher.
• Speaking of man cave, COME OUT EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE!!  Join the living.  We won’t bite, I promise!  Well, maybe a little!
• Don’t get mad when I remind you to do something that you promised to do.  You say you know and you will, BUT when I don’t remind you, you forget.  Therefore I WILL ALWAYS remind you and you just need to learn to deal with it.
• On the other hand, if I remind you of something and you tell me that I DIDN’T ask you about it in the first place, just remember that half of what I say to you goes in one ear and out the other with no data actually being received.  So just live under the assumption that I DID in fact ask you.
• If you want me to stop talking, then how about this notion…instead of a monologue from me, lets have a dialogue.  If you are unsure what a dialogue is, it’s when TWO people talk back and forth.  Such a novel concept right?
• Please note that the above is not a guarantee that I will stop talking, simply a plea to get you to communicate more than “what’s for dinner?”
• SPEAKING of dinner……If I am having a BAD day, the kids have driven me Hell and back, I am feeling sick or am in pain……just know that the question “what’s for dinner?” may get you hurt, repeatedly, in parts of your body that you cherish.  Just a friendly warning!

Okay it must be said that all in all my husband is a pretty great guy, I mean he DOES still love me after all these years and after countless farts.  Not to mention he tells me I am beautiful everyday, scratches my back just because with EVERY hug, kisses me goodnight EVERY night and tells me he loves me several times a day.  He is a great man even if he DOES forget the chocolate once a month!

What annoying habits of your significant other drives you absolutely BATTY!?!?